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Thursday, July 31st, 2003
11:49a - resurfacing
i lay in bed this morning, desparately trying to remember my dream. little bits and pieces kept resurfacing, but i couldn't get a whole picture. eventually, it faded away completely.
it keeps nagging at the back of my mind, threatening to resurface, but never quite breaking the seal, the barrier between consciousness and the other realm.
it's almost like reverse deja-vu, in a way, since the way deja-vu usually hits me is i feel as though i've dreamed the experience before, instead of feeling like i've been through it in my waking life.
i wish i could remember my dream, but, even if i could, i'm not sure it would be anywhere near the form it was originally. it seems like dreams exist beyond the constraints of normal awareness -- such as time. things are more concatenated, or alternately more stretched out. events don't have meaning the way we ascribe in waking life. i often find myself describing my dreams with such statements as "it was my house, but it wasn't" or "it was you, but you weren't really you" or, my favorite, "i was someone else. and then, all of a sudden, i was me again."

i love how perspective shifts in dreams. i love how reality is so all-encompassing. it's like what drugs promise but never truly give -- a realm of total fantasy and make-believe. anything is possible in dreams, if we allow it. the problem is finding how to allow it.

i think i'll try to find some good articles on the subject, and post them up here.

i also highly recommend the film waking life for those who haven't seen it. i still need to watch it all the way through again. it's too heavy to process in one sitting...

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